Kristin's Bookshelf

Sinners Retreat
by Lauren Biel
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨ 4.5 Stars

The author’s note at the beginning called this “Diet Lauren Biel.”

Well then… I genuinely do not know if I could survive the full-calorie version.

This book was absolutely unhinged in the best possible way.

I’m normally a notorious $ex-scene skimmer, but these had me locked in the entire time, mostly because my brain just kept repeating “what the actual hell is happening?” over and over again. Equal parts horrified, entertained, and weirdly invested.

And Ezra? Obsessed. Completely obsessed. Also, can we talk about the narrator for a second? Could he possibly sound any sexier? Listening to him felt like Hugh Jackman decided to narrate depravity for fun and honestly… I wasn’t mad about it.

The premise alone is wild: a luxury retreat vacation designed specifically for serial killers so they can relax, socialize, and hunt openly without consequences. You’ve got all the classic tropical getaway activities. Horseback riding… except people are being dragged behind the horses. Gourmet dinners… made of people. Scenic hikes… where the scenery occasionally fights back. Scuba diving… where instead of fish you spear… well, you get the idea.

Kindra and Ezra are both hiding who they really are for completely different reasons, which adds another layer of tension beneath all the violence, chaos, and extremely creative insanity. Their chemistry was intense from the start, and the entire book somehow balances horror, dark humor, romance, and absolute filth without collapsing under its own madness.

What surprised me most was how funny it was. I genuinely laughed out loud multiple times, which feels almost concerning given the subject matter.

And as for pineapple? Yeah. Lauren Biel ruined that for me permanently.